My plan

I started to want to lose some weight for the trip we most likely will be taking in June and then, while on the treadmill watching Aliens (love that movie!!), I wondered if I could find a nice picture to use as a tattoo. Then I thought why not go for gold and get the back piece done. Hell why not work towards that!! So I went on the net and found the picture I think will work (I may change my mind in a few years, it might not work as a tattoo..etc) and I told myself that once I get to where I am happy I will start the process of getting this tattoo.

I am not weighing myself. NEVER. I hate that fucking scale. I hate all scales. I tend to over focus on the number and not how I look, so I told myself I will let the clothes do the talking. I will probably weigh myself when I start thinking I might be close to where I want to be...but I'm not sure. So no I will not know how many pounds I lose, I will only know how many dress sizes I have gone down. Will this process be easy? Hell no. But at 24 I think I need to commit to something other than a marriage. For now I am limiting a lot of things but as I learn what my body is missing/craves I will add it in to my diet. I am not on some diet, or crazy workout thing. I am doing what feels good to me. I am not doing this for anyone dead or alive...this is all for me and that tattoo. I will have days where I will cry because I feel like a failure..I will have days where I will feel like the best looking thing on the planet. This will take me awhile to do...but I think I can do it. I am not going to lose the amount doctors tell me I should because at that weight I will look gross. I like a little fat on me. I am tall and have big bones so I know I am not going to go below 170 ( and that number is pushing it). I know my goal weight and I will know when I am close.

I look forward to this...to the failures and the triumphs. I look forward to the day where I can say I did it. I will not blog about this though..I may comment on it every so often but I am not really going to talk about it. Every other time I have talked about what I am doing day to day I got critized (in the bad way..you know the "you're doing it wrong") I got so many different diets shoved down my throat and so many workouts that I need to do shoved down my throat. I do not need any of that and if I hear any of it I might punch the person.

So I will print out the picture I want tattood on me and tape it to my mirror. I will look at that picture everyday and imagine it on my back and it will make me get on that treadmill and drink that water and eat good food!!