25

I am turning 25. Wow. I remember thinking about being 25 when I was 12 and it was such a scary number, I mean I'd be so OLD.But then as I kept growing up (altough I would bug my mom with how OLD I was getting) I realized that turing 25 isn't all that bad. When I was 12 I thought that I would have a career as a teacher already set up, I would be married, bought a house and working on popping out a kid. Maybe I would have a dog, but for sure a cat. I told myself at 12 that by 25 I would have to be a responsible adult and that meant a job, kids and a husband apparently. Well 18 came along and I had no effin clue what I wanted to study in school. I followed what my mom told me to do (be a teacher!!) but I was not happy. By 20 I was taking some graphic design classes and then at 22 I was checking out psychology, a year later sociology (because I can't wrap my head around advanced math) and then at the age of 24 I went into studying to be a paralegal and will be until I'm 27 or 28.

I DID get married though, at the tender age of 23. Where I was told I was WAY to young to be married but because I am I better start popping out those screaming demons (Ok not in those exact words but close ;)). To young to get married but not too young to have kids...I don't get it. In the 25 years I have been on this earth I learned a lot. I still have sooo much more to learn but I have learned that I am a naive individual. I still trust too easily, and I should still think before I talk. And that I am the only one who can decide what to do with my life.

25 seemed so old to a 12 year old, but as I am nearing 25 I realize that I am still so very young. That I should not be stressing out about some things and that noone can tell me what to do. I am also realizing that I have to start loving myself and stop hurting myself to please other people, those people can either love who I am or bug off. But sometimes I still feel like I should be some kind of adult at 25, that I am a failure of some sort because I have no clue what I want my career to be and the furthest I plan is what I am doing on the up coming weekend. My parents were married and had a house by this age! I have an apartment with
two cats (and the husband). But damnit I am happy! And it's about damn time people learn to be happy with my happiness.

So at 7:31am on Friday morning I turn 25. Hey, another 25 years and I will be 50! And really people, that is not that far off. Time goes by really fast. So what do I think I will be doing at 50? I honestly have no clue, I no longer try to plan my future, I no longer try to live by the rules others have placed on me. I do hope that I am happy, still married to Marc, and still have two cats.

Friday I am getting all prettied up to go out to dinner with the husband and then I am getting shit faced with a good friend. I have plans to wake up in an alcoholic stupour the next moring demanding bacon and eggs and coffee with more alcohol to help with the alcohol induced headache. I don't think there will be many more times in my life where I will be able to get shit faced and survive so why not do it Friday night!

I will try to get Marc to take a picture of my dress, I honestly love this dress and don't get to wear it often. Now I will be overly dressed up for a steak house, but it's my birthday and I will dress up if I want too!

EDIT: Not wearing the dress. After the "fashion show" I did for Marc last night he decided my skinny jeans and heels with my purple top look really good. Also I don't think he wants to get dressed up nice lol. And we both realized that I will most likely spill something on the dress (I can not wear white without putting at least 5 stains on the thing). Also I am determined to like martinis tomorrow.